Finding It So Hard To Be Anything

by Freya & The Dead

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1.
Castles 05:24
There is no prince in this castle There is no sweat, and there is no muscle Nobody to worry about my health Or anything else And there are no spectators here No one to witness what I fear to be My greatest impression Of a functioning machine Oh just give me a sign that I'm alright And acknowledge what I try to be where no one sees One day I'll burn down this castle And all the parts that keep me parcelled up Will melt away and take The green stain from my face And everyone will look at me Exactly how I want to be perceived No more hiding of the change inside of me Oh just give me a sign that I'm alive And acknowledge what I try to be Where no one sees And now the time has come to leave Behind what I couldn't be And now the time has come to meet The ones outside who look at me The garen filled with watchers who see What commonplace virtues stand for truths in the city Peasants and the people stalking soldiers silently As walls fall and places seem nearer than any thought to be At arm's length let me reach and take The island that belongs to me The jewelled night and all stars to stare at me The ocean swallows up and spits out the very end of me That new thing that I am, that I am, you see
2.
I want to be a boy today So I'll forget to shave my face Wear what I think is right So I guess no pink or lace I won't think I'm pretty To people that I want to attract Walk this way talk this way Is anyone buying my act So I cut a six-pack in my chest (How do you like me now?) With lines of blood instead (How do you like me now?) And oh god I've tried (How do you like me now?) But I don't think I can I'm finding it so hard To be some kind of man I want to be a girl today Stitch some flowers on my jeans Wear what I want how I want Paint my face so I don't look like me I won't tie my hair back And I'll pick some colours other than black Walk this way talk this way Is anyone buying my act So I cut cleavage in my chest (How do you like me now?) With lines of blood instead (How do you like me now?) And oh god I've tried (How do you like me now?) But I can't fool the world I'm finding it so hard To be some kind of girl So I drag razors across my face (How do you like me now?) And hide wherever else (How do you like me now?) And oh god I've tried (How do you like me now?) But I just don't fit in I'm finding it so hard To be anything
3.
Oh sister sister, let me read your magazines The ones you spend every day photocopying My lemonade stand gives every fifty pence that I make To your shouted agenda, for protesting's sake To your shouted agenda, for protesting's sake Oh sister, mother says I shouldn't listen to you She says you don't know quite what you're getting into I've heard her say you're an anarchist Semen stained, loving and free But I don't understand quite what she means But I don't understand quite what she means Oh sister sister, let me come into your room Where you write leaflets about our impending doom We'll share a pepsi to celebrate The last summer days that we can And we'll blame all our misfortune on the man And we'll blame all our misfortune on the man Oh sister, mother says I shouldn't listen to you She says you don't know quite what you're getting into I've heard it said that you think too much And whilst you're a sister to me You have now been declared our enemy You have now been declared our enemy
4.
Stay Alive 04:02
What do I like today, is it real or illustrated? The actor's name unknown but I don't need to know it anymore The only part I need to find in an artwork simulated Is my own new state of mind and what can I make today That I'll be satisfied by? I know what I must write But I can't find the words And I don't know The reason why my mind's no longer occupied With how we're to stay alive What do they defend today and feel is truly worth it? A person standing tall and preaching for destruction from her pulpit. Elocution sweet and hides all traces of our sympathy For anybody else than me What do I defend today and feel is truly worth it? A person standing small And saying nothing real at all. And I don't know if I can hide All traces of my sympathy For everybody else and me And I don't know The reason why my mind's no longer occupied With how we're to stay alive And I don't know The reason why my mind's no longer occupied With how we're to stay alive stay alive stay alive stay alive stay alive

about

FINDING IT SO HARD TO BE ANYTHING is a four track EP about depression and dysphoria that probably should've been released last year, but you know how it is. Now they're out and free!

Written & recorded with my old band before it disintegrated in 2017. Clearing out the archive so I can move on.

credits

released March 31, 2018

Freya C: Vocals, Acoustic & Electric Guitar, Bass, Piano, Keys, Percussion
RW: Drums, Backing Vocals, Additional Guitar

All songs written & recorded by Freya C

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about

Freya Campbell England, UK

Freya C / @spdrcstl makes music and writes fiction and makes games and takes pictures of stuff. Lives somewhere in the UK.

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